So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I'm really busy with my period
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