i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Quick, to the slutcave!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
