dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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