I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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