Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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