I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
