connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
