Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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