S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize