She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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