But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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