I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
