I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
