Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
