I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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