I must be too annoying 4 u.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
