i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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