Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
