all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
