I think i sorta joined a cult last night
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sext me about skeletons
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
