They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize