Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
