You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
