what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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