you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
