I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize