so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
