Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just high enough for therapy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
