It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
