Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
