My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
