Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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