its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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