i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize