what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
