I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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