She is in my trunk
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
