I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
