Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize