I cockslap morals
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
