you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
