dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
