Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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