stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
