Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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