please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
