He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
