these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
