No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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