I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
