just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
