CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
