Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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