i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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