She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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