Nicole vs. Life
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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