And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize