and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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