Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
