i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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