party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
