the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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