tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
