you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
