I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Enjoy the penises
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