can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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