is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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