is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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