The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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