im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
