Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
