After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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