if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
