I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
